Entanglements

Sooooo bout 2 weeks ago, on June 30, 2020, I watched August Alsina be interviewed by Angela Yee. I am a person that loves interviews of interesting people and interesting perspectives. August has been one of those people that I find intriguing as an artist. In my opinion, the whole interview was good, and I took a lot from it and I recognize the growth in that man, and it makes me proud. Growth is so sexy to me. It just is. This interview ended up blowing up for the explosive tea he spilled about his dealings with Jada. Although it is not my business, and I truly don't care what Will & Jada do in their marriage, I must admit it was a guilty pleasure hearing confirmation of things that are rumored for so long.

Anyway, after the interview, social media went nuts. It was all over my tl. The two general consensus' that I kept hearing were "August should have kept quiet" and "Jada is a predator. She preyed on him when he was down."

After about a week or so, Jada and Will dropped an episode of the Red Table Talk. Social media went crazy again. Memes were funny af and the people were judgmental af. Now that the dust has settled and people aren't talking about it as much, I'd like to add my lil 2cents on the subject.

First of yall, you niggas need to chill with all that judgmental shit. That's a pet- peeve of mine. We all go through shit in relationships. If you haven't, your day is coming, unless you die first. All these people throwing stones standing in the living room of a glass house. You may not go through THAT shit, but you will go through SOME shit and , most likely, you will have the luxury of keeping it to yourself or private among people close to you. Predator? That's a stretch. She's just a fine, wise, vulnerable, woman. August was a fine, young, alluring, wise beyond his years, plus he had the big stick and he was in the vicinity. So they got entangled. Duh.

I think that August had every right to speak on something that affected him in his life. He does that all the time in his music. Artists sometimes talk about their art. I won't fault him for that. I think the only people who can be mad are the Smith's. When August told his own business, he also told Jada and Will's too. They are entitled to their feelings (if they have those). As a private person myself, it would bother me if my business was being discussed and I'm not the one that put it out there.

That's probably why they finally spoke on it. Someone outside of themselves offered up some inside info on their marriage, so they had to clear it up, especially if the narrative hurts Jada's Red Table Talk brand. She helps people. Which leads me to my favorite part of all this, the convo between Will & Jada.

I think that the conversation they had was an important one. We know that even the relationships that are revered have problems. I saw some memes about J Cole's line in No Role Modelz , about "that Jada and that Will love" aged badly.

Depending on how you look at it, I guess. Not to me tho. When I watched Jada & Will talk to one another, I noticed a few things. The way they joke like they have been through some shit together. I was in a relationship with a guy for over 10 years. In that amount of time, you're gonna go through some things. I recognize the jokes you tell with someone after you've made it out of the mud with and y'all survived to tell the story and laugh about it later. Those moments are hard and painful to reach. They hung in there. If they are stronger as a unit, then that is something to be admired. I believe that struggle in a relationship, is inevitable. Who is worth fighting through those struggles with tho?

Will & Jada decided that they were gonna fight through this thing called life together. They chose to struggle together. In reality, when 2 people get together, they each come with of their own problems. For me, the ideal situation is with a man who I know has my back through whatever. He helps me through my issues and I help him through his. Navigating this world is difficult. As a couple, things are going to come at the unit and it will take the strength of both of you to fight those forces. I will fight for my marriage forever as long as I know this man is on my team when outside forces show up to fight me or us. I'm built like that. I'm as solid as they come so he can trust that I'll be there in the dark and in the light. I can't be like that for a man that is stabbing me in the back. "Nobody wins when the family feuds."

Another thing I admire is that there has never been secrets between them. I don't know what that's like. Sounds freeing. Will said that they got together young and broken, and they were able to make mistakes w/o the fear of losing their family. Knowing what I know now, that is so critical. I want that with someone. I do wonder what the cost is tho. You don't build a love so deep w/o going through the fire, unfortunately.

The thing that Will said that resonated with me most is "I can love you through anything." Those words sent chills through my body. I know what it's like to be capable of loving someone like that. I don't know what it's like to receive love like that from someone outside of my family. Hearing those words come out of a black mans mouth to a black woman is sooooooo important to me. We don't get it often. At least, I don't see it often. I have great marriage examples in my life, but it still is very rare that a man knows that he can love a woman through anything. That part was so beautiful to me.

Say what you want about those two. Cringe at their "bad marriage for life" jokes all you want. I feel like if you find someone that can love you through anything, you hold on and you fight for them and with them. That's who you choose as a life partner. In my eyes, they're doing something right.