Sooooo this morning, I woke up to a story about Megan Thee Stallion finally confirming that Tory Lanez shot her. Now, I am a person that enjoys minding my business, but this story is particularly triggering for me.
I want to talk about black women choosing themselves over protecting someone that we like a lot or love, over ourselves. We tend to do that because we are empathetic and don't want to see the ones we care about hurt or in trouble, even at our own expense. Megan protected Tory by initially keeping quiet about the situation. She didn't tell the internet, nor the police, which I respect. I've been in situations where I was physically harmed and in that very same moment, chose to protect a man by keeping quiet when asked what happened. What happened after that? It happened again, even though he said he wouldn't. Do I regret not reporting that man to the police? No. I still don't want bad for him. But did it serve me? No. Did he learn his lesson? I don't think so. He wasn't so quick to put his hands on me, but not because he respected me. He just didn't want to get in trouble.
When things happen on the internet, there are many different opinions, but there is usually a general consensus. It angers me that the general consensus wasn't to be compassionate toward this black woman who had just been fucking shot. Generally speaking, we don't get compassion from black men unless we are in a Sandra Bland type situation. Do we have to die to receive compassion from niggas? It sure does seem like it. That's the hurtful part of the relationship between black men and women. Generally speaking, we're always there for you. Holding you down when you need it. Protecting you. Nurturing you. But where are you when we need you?
I'm sure that there are black men that feel the same way in reverse. I'm speaking in a very general sense. I just want better for us as a whole. Speaking personally, I will always be here for my black men. I will always support you. I will always hold it down. I will always fight for you. I will always have your back. I will always speak life into you. I will also hold you accountable. I will also tell you the truth because that's what serves you in the long run. I will always mean well. But I can't do that for those of you who don't mean well for me. For those that choose themselves over me. For those that, frankly, don't deserve it.
The relationship between black woman and men is something that I am very interested in. It is something that I recognize is strained. It is something that I want to get better. I LOOOOOOOVE my black men. I think most of them love me too. But sometimes I wonder...................
There are a few sources that explain our relationship so very well. The first one that comes to mind is the book When Chickenheads Come Home to Roost. The second, off the top of my head, is a song called Afeni by Rapsody. That song brings tears to my eyes because she feels me. If you want to feel where I'm at with it, listen to that song, or read that book.